A life full of regrets - or not?
Throughout the 70 years or so of our lives, there're many things that we can do. But more often than not, we end up not doing most of them.
Yesterday before my grandma left, I told her "You must come here more often."
She told me she would love to, but she cant. Her health isn't as good, she will need someone to accompany her out to spore and accompany her back. I felt very sad.
When we were still young, she was very healthy and walked to the market every morning. She came to spore once in a long while to visit us, and when she does so, she still walks to the market with my mom every morning. Although she was healthy and could withstand the long journey from ipoh to spore, she had responsibilities - grandchildren to take care of, grandfather to look after. And because of this, she couldnt come often.
Now that her grandchildren has grown up, my grandfather is no longer around, she is very lonely back at home in ipoh. She wants to come to spore, but who has the time to bring her here? My uncles all need to work, my aunt in spore can drive up to ipoh to fetch her, but that is really exhausting.
I pondered a little, and realised that no matter which stage of our lives we are at, there's always something that we want to do. And there's always a reason to stop us from doing so.
In my teens, i wanted to hire a private tennis coach. But tennis is such an expensive game, I can easily blow a hundred over dollars for jus one lesson. I didnt want to burden my parents with the expenses, hence i gave it up.
Then in JC, I would love to hang out at siglap or parkway with my friends all day long. During the hols, i would love to join my friends in the reading room/library (studying, but laughing n joking more) more, but i didnt. Because I knew my mom didnt really like it, so i don't do it. Thinking back now, I feel like i missed out a lot, and disappointed my friends at times too. Yet if i choose to hang out outside more, I would have disappointed my mom.
Uni days ... Perhaps i should have gone clubbing more often, and experience it.. afterall I have all the freedom that I wanted back then. Now, how to club? Ladies' night seem a thing of the past for me now.. some of my older collegues dont even know its ladies' night on wed, they thought its only mambo night.
Now that I'm working, there're so many things that I want to do. I want to go for dancing lessons, yoga/pillates lessons, gym more often, jog more often. 5 months into my career, I have done almost nothing. ANd i keep telling myself its becase I dont have time, and my knees dont allow me to do so.
Then what am I going to do? Am i just going to continue giving myself excuses? When i grow old, will i live a life full of regrets. Judging by my procrastination skills, I think I'm gg to die a sad person. Despite all the obstacles, i should just get my butt moving and do what I should do.
Easier said than done.. pillates lessons, anyone?
Yesterday before my grandma left, I told her "You must come here more often."
She told me she would love to, but she cant. Her health isn't as good, she will need someone to accompany her out to spore and accompany her back. I felt very sad.
When we were still young, she was very healthy and walked to the market every morning. She came to spore once in a long while to visit us, and when she does so, she still walks to the market with my mom every morning. Although she was healthy and could withstand the long journey from ipoh to spore, she had responsibilities - grandchildren to take care of, grandfather to look after. And because of this, she couldnt come often.
Now that her grandchildren has grown up, my grandfather is no longer around, she is very lonely back at home in ipoh. She wants to come to spore, but who has the time to bring her here? My uncles all need to work, my aunt in spore can drive up to ipoh to fetch her, but that is really exhausting.
I pondered a little, and realised that no matter which stage of our lives we are at, there's always something that we want to do. And there's always a reason to stop us from doing so.
In my teens, i wanted to hire a private tennis coach. But tennis is such an expensive game, I can easily blow a hundred over dollars for jus one lesson. I didnt want to burden my parents with the expenses, hence i gave it up.
Then in JC, I would love to hang out at siglap or parkway with my friends all day long. During the hols, i would love to join my friends in the reading room/library (studying, but laughing n joking more) more, but i didnt. Because I knew my mom didnt really like it, so i don't do it. Thinking back now, I feel like i missed out a lot, and disappointed my friends at times too. Yet if i choose to hang out outside more, I would have disappointed my mom.
Uni days ... Perhaps i should have gone clubbing more often, and experience it.. afterall I have all the freedom that I wanted back then. Now, how to club? Ladies' night seem a thing of the past for me now.. some of my older collegues dont even know its ladies' night on wed, they thought its only mambo night.
Now that I'm working, there're so many things that I want to do. I want to go for dancing lessons, yoga/pillates lessons, gym more often, jog more often. 5 months into my career, I have done almost nothing. ANd i keep telling myself its becase I dont have time, and my knees dont allow me to do so.
Then what am I going to do? Am i just going to continue giving myself excuses? When i grow old, will i live a life full of regrets. Judging by my procrastination skills, I think I'm gg to die a sad person. Despite all the obstacles, i should just get my butt moving and do what I should do.
Easier said than done.. pillates lessons, anyone?
posted by Tweety Bird at 7:17 PM
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