Random Thoughts

Just that day, a fren of mine was late for work. I asked him why and he told me he went drinking the night before, alone at the coffee shop. I was bewildered why he drank on his own and he said suddenly got "感触”。So he sat there, drinking beer and stout, smoking at the same time. At a point in time, he even unbuckled his belt, not even bothering how he looked

He always looks so happy go lucky, and he's always cracking jokes. But I guess everyone jus has their own problems and sometimes, you just need time alone to yourself to reflect on life.

Suddenly, I feel that life is so sad.
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Tonghwi told me on msn just now that he saw many teenagers trying to look old at cineleisure. If you notice carefully, you'll prob realise that youngsters such as those in sec schs are dressing very maturely and they are all not afraid to reveal more skin! What was I doing in sec sch.. I think i was still in t shirt and jeans. I didnt even dare to wear sleeveless man. haha so old fashioned.

But I understand.. these youngsters can't wait to grow up, exactly like how I felt when i was their age. I don't like adults telling me "You're still young you won't understand.." or "It's great to be a kid..." At that time, all i knew was I had no freedom, and I have no money. I wanted to be treated like an adult.

Finally, the time has come. I am now an adult, with my own money and freedom. But. I yearned for the life of a teenager. A life that revolves around books, tennis, movies, canteen food, bus rides, romance novels and silly crushes. No worries, no illnesses, no deaths, no pains. Just a simple life that is routine, yet not exactly routine. I wish I could dress like a teenager, i wish i dun have to put on make up to look prettier.

But time won't turn back.

Ten years down the road, I'll wish I were 23 years old, leading a carefree single life with no burden of family and children. I'm just a very typical human being, I wish for things that can never happen.

So we all ought to be happy with what we have now, and cherish every moment of being in that stage, instead of lamenting ten years later.
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Is society more tolerant of cheating husbands rather than cheating wives?
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Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself. I feel like I dont know what my character is. Am I someone genuinely nice, or am I nice because of circumstances? Am I naturally friendly, or has circumstances molded me into one without realising? Am I selfish? Am i stupid? DO i like to club? Am i the faithful sort?

There're days that I look into the mirror and I dun understand why I look like wad I look like. Suddenly my face just looks so unfamiliar, and I don't remember myself looking like that.

Perhaps its because I've not lived my life to the fullest.
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Are there days that you suddenly feel so overwhelmed by emotions and age that you just feel like tearing? Days when you lament how terrible life can get, and what a joke life has been?
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Whenever I'm on the bus, I'll imagine to myself what happens if i get involved in an accident? For example, today I imagined if a car hit the bus from the side, just at where I'm sitting, what will happen? Will I fly and bump against the seats? Will I be in shock and start blabbering nonsense? Or will I still be sober enough to say my last words so that my family knows what went on in my mind minutes before i die?

Other days, I imagine myself getting knocked down by a car. I wonder if I will feel any pain, or will the pain be so excruciating that I feel nothing. And when I imagine too much, I start to feel sad for people who die in accidents. And then I'll remember Andrew and wonder how his family is getting on with life.
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Haha, I hope I dont sound like i've got a shitload of problems. I'm feeling perfectly fine. Just have some "感触" that's all.