Blogging more regularly nowadays!
But frequent blogging more often than not means that I am
1)Lonely
2)Upset
3)Happy
My mind is actually a blank now. But I have nothing to do (actually I
hav a lot of things to do, but i don't feel like doing any) so I'll just blog.
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I went to watch Phantom of the Opera with my uni buddies yesterday.
Btw, our group has a name - NBS Club 7. Corny/cheesy name that only Miss
Mabelline has the imagination to come up with. It was a good play, though better seats wont hurt.. but nonetheless, a good experience. Miss Rs said we ought to be more cultured and watch more of such musicals next time! So we've decided our next one will be dim sum dollies.
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Like what I have also reiterated (did i?), we should live our lives to the fullest, do what we feel like doing, and not let others dictate our lives. But there has always been someone who controls me. Not like a puppet.
Mayb somewhat like a kite. When i wanna fly higher, or fly towards the ocean, this person pulls the string. I stop at where I am. I see other kites dipping down the sky, into the ocean. And I thank this person for with-holding me. I feel grateful.
Then I try to fly further again. Again this person pulls me back. Again. Then again. Then again. Suddenly I feel frustrated. I no longer feel grateful. I feel restricted. I am only young once, this is the only time I can soar! But i can't. For the rest of my life, I cant soar. Unless, I break free. But the person will be upset that the kite is gone. And
i'll be upset because I am ungrateful.
Still, I want to soar. Still, I do not have the courage to.
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I'm vexed. vexed over
sth that
alr has a solution - a stark clear solution.
sth that I have
alr made a decision on. Been years since I felt this way. Eh, in fact, I have never felt this way! But I know, it's
gg to be over. very very soon.
Sometimes, I look at people around me. I look at the things that they are troubled
abt. And sometimes, just sometimes, I
snigger. At them. For being so ridiculous, for not seeing the obvious solution. For letting their silly feelings rule their head.
I've just
sniggered at myself.
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Life is not about taking unnecessary risks.
Un-calculated risks. People think you're boring for not
takng a risk. But i see it the other way round - people who take risks are stupid
ppl.
uncalculated risks, of course.
I also think life is not about doing things on
impluse. I look at
ppl who give up everything to pursue a (ridiculous) dream (pursuing dreams are sometimes
synonymous to taking uncalculated risks) and when they land hard on their asses, I pity them but at the same time, hey, serve them right. That will teach them a good lesson. Well, at least they learn.
While I never learnt anything.